Parecoxib

after Levinas

Mum’s face, almost completely other now.
High cheekbones she would have loved,
pale skin she would have rouged.
Our loved ones: my godparents holding hands,
my dad – become her husband once again.

Her lip twitches. Then, her shoulders roil.
And now a groan.

I would and will do all of this again:
David’s dreaded, gentle ‘Hello Catherine’,
his plunger pushing liquid up the cannula
then, after a slight delay, Mum’s slow-motion writhe
and her confused, indignant moan that says: I’m being hurt.
Then after David’s thanked and gone and Mum has settled
what I accept but can’t hold back, ‘That damaged my soul.’